Twilight Princess Parody
by Zeldadudetp
Summary: Twilight Princess in a way you've never seen it before... characters acting a way you've never seen them act...with army monkeys and dancing gorons...rated M for cussing and a few sexual themes...might even be T but i'm going on the safe side...
1. Prologue

Prologue:  
The Spring

Rusl:Tell me.. do you ever feel a strange sadness as the dusk falls?

Link:No.

Rusl: But enough of this melancholy!Im going to Hyrule Castle to deliver a sword.Will you go as my stead?

Link: No do it yourself.

Rusl:Well your going to do it because I told you to and you dont have a say in it anymore!

Link: Damn...

Rusl:Wait...You've never been to Hyrule Castle have you?

Link:Yes I have.I've laid Zelda a couple of times.

Rusl:...Yeah...Well beside the castle is a castle town which is a community far bigger then our own.

Link:What are you talking about?My community is big!Yours isn't.No wonder it took 11 more years for Uli to get pregnent again...

Rusl:SHUT UP!!gets up

Link:gets up

Link picks up Rusl and throws him in the spring and runs to Ordon.Rusl chases him and so does Epona.Rusl runs past the gate and doesnt lock it because he doesnt care if the village dies.Rusl joins his family and Link goes in his house.Ilia kidnaps Epona.Fado comes.

Fado:Hey dowg I need help man.These goats like gettin up in my grillz yo.

Link look through window

Link:Ok.

Fado looks around.

Fado:Hey where Links possy?

End of prologue

Authors Note: I've already written 18 chapters on this story because I submitted it onto another site. The chapters are longer than the prolougue. 


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:  
Ordon Village Part 1

Link: Hey Fado.

Fado: Wat up dawg.I think your possy is taking a crap at the Ordon Spring.Go get her and get ya ass at the hood.

Link: ...

Fado: JUST GET THE DAMN HORSE!!

Link enters Ordon Spring and finds Ilia tring to stangle Epona

Link: WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!!

Ilia:puts away ropeHey Link I washed your horse.

Link: Oh ok. Thanks. Im just going to take her now.

Ilia: Wait! First play the song that Epona hat-loves!

Link:plays song

Epona runs to Links house.Link chases her.

Link enters Ordon with Epona.

Link:Hey Sera.Your fat.

Sera:No Im not!

Link:Yes you are.

Sera:You better shut up before I sit on you!

Link:Oh #!Hey Beth.

Beth:just stares

Link:Look I know your Emo but you can talk!

Beth:Falls over

Link:Hey Hanch.

Hanch:WTF are you looking at!I hate the #ing world!I got #ing monkeys stealing # out of my shop and my wife is a fat!

Link:No wonder noone likes you.

Link:Walks over to Colin,Uli,and RuslHey Colin!

Colin:Im making a fishing rod so you can cacth fish and take them to my house so we can play with them.Then we can take my dads sword and kill people!

Link:...Hey Uli!

Uli:Hey Im pregnant! Feel my stomach!

Link:Im temted but your husband would kill me.Hey Rusl.

Rusl:I would kill you for throwing me in the spring but my wife Likes you to much.

Link:Walks over to Mayer BoHey.Nice mustach.

Bo:Its not a mustach.Its horns!Im an elephant!WEEE!!

Link:Walks over to ranch aka:the hood 


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:  
Ordon Village Part 2

Link used Epona to get to Fado

Fado:Yo yo fo shizzle.

Link:Stop talking like that.

Fado:Just put the goats in the barn.

Link:How?

Fado:Whoop them in.Hands Link a whip

Link:So why did I bring the horse?

Fado: Because you look like a pimp when your on you horse.

Link "whooped" all the goats in the barn.

Fado:Ill set up the fences.

Link:Why would I need fences?

Fado:Well then I wont set the gates up.Get yo ass home.You dont have to work tommorow.I dont think the gaots would like it.

Next day

Talo:Link!Guess what!You need to wake up!I have to tell you something!

Link gets out of house

Link:What the do you little kids want?

Malo:There selling a slingshot at the store!

Link:And??

Talo:Just buy it!Then Ill tell you what we will do.

Link enters Ordon Village.

Jaggle:You are gay!

Link started climbing up the vines.

Link:You are going to pay for that!

Jaggle:What are you going to do about it?

Link got on top of the rock and grabbed Jaggle and ripped him in half.Link grabbed Jaggles heart.He got a heart Contanier!

Link jumped over to the rock to the rock with the piece of grass.

Link:plays song

Link aims the hawk at the bee hive and the bee hive falls on Hanch ending his deppression.Link jumped over to Hanchs body and took his heart.He now has three hearts!His,Jaggles,and Hanchs!

Uli:Link my craddle!The monkeys are humping it!

Link got the craddle and gave it to Uli.

Uli:Hey link...Come to my house...I have to show you something...on my bed...

30 mins later

Uli:That was fun!I think I have twins now!Heres A fishing rod and 30 rupees!

Link:Thanks...

Link left to the store.

Uli:mutteredDamn he does it better than Rusl... 


End file.
